I wanna hold your hand

Since we've been living with Grandma and Grandpa, our sleeping arrangements have been a little unusual. Although we have three bedrooms to spread out between, it's been difficult in keeping with the same rules that we had living in our own home, with our own bedrooms. For the past couple of months, the four of us have been sleeping in the same room (something we have never done in the past). It started out as a necessity with the holidays to accomodate family visitors, and then it just became habit.

Our nightly routine consists of Benjamin sleeping in his crib or sleeping on the aerobed on the floor depending on what he feels like that night. Tom is the real trooper as he trades between sleeping in bed with me and sleeping on the aerobed on the floor when Savannah decides at 3:00 in the morning that she wants to sleep with me and he's too tired to fight it. Most nights he just lets Savannah sleep in bed with me just so he doesn't have to move a few hours later. Let's face it. I don't think anyone is getting really good sleep. But there is something that happens between me and Savannah that I will always cherish about this time of restless sleep. If Savannah and I happen to go to bed at the same time, shortly after I crawl into bed I hear this, "Mommy?" Followed by a short pause. "Can I hold your hand?" And then for the next few minutes she lays there in the dark with a big smile, holding my hand closely to her face, while stroking it and telling me how much she loves me. If she wakes up in the middle of the night I will hear the same request being whispered urgently across the bed. When I reach for her, she grasps my hand and holds it closely to her body until her breathing slows and she drifts back to sleep.

I will admit, sometimes after a long day when I am feeling sick all I want to do is crawl in bed with my hubby and fall into a peaceful sleep. But then I have to remind myself that this too won't last for long because nothing ever does when it comes to children. Soon we will be living in our own home with a new baby. Savannah will go back to sleeping her in own room and instead of being woke with a gentle, "Mommy? Can I hold your hand?" I will wake to a tiny crying baby needing comfort and feeding. And although I will cherish that tiny babe, I will certainly miss sleeping next to my Savannah.