When I was a little girl I had an experience that would stay with me my entire life. I remember I was about 5 or 6 years old playing with my friend Bronwin and her dolls. Maybe they were Strawberry Shortcake dolls, I can't quite remember that detail. But the next thing I remember, I was sitting in the back of our green station wagon driving home with a few of the dolls hiding under the seat. Yep, this was my "stealing the Snickers from the grocery store" experience. I don't know how I rationalized this in my mind, I don't think a 5 year old has that ability, but I knew that I loved and admired those dolls, and that's why I took them.
When I got home and my mother asked me where I got the dolls, I had no choice but to tell her the truth. Before we made the drive back to Bronwin's home to return what was rightfully hers, my mother took the time to braid each of the dolls hair, making them look new again. I remember sitting with shame in the back of that green car while my mother explained that although what I had done was wrong, that we were making it right by returning the dolls to their home. What I remember most about that drive was my mother singing the primary song, "Choose the Right Way." That memory will forever be engraved in my mind.
This memory came flooding back to me last night when Tom carried a sobbing Savannah into our bedroom while holding a miniature Rapunzel doll that didn't belong to her. Rather than getting angry I was filled with a sense of irony and I knew I needed to handle the situation with care. Over the next 30 minutes while Savannah cried out, "I'm sorry" for most of that time, I surmised that while riding the bus she had taken the coveted doll out of a fellow bus rider's backpack and slipped it into her own. I could see the anguish and remorse covering Savannah's face and I couldn't help but feel for her. I told her about my own story and that she needed to make things right by returning the doll.
After Savannah had composed herself and left the room I wondered if I hadn't had my own similar experience nearly 30 years ago, how I would have handled the situation? I laughed to myself - I couldn't believe how similar our stories were.
Now I sit here and wait for Savannah to come off of that school bus, hoping that she has the courage to return the doll and make things right. But if I didn't know it before, I know it now - Savannah is definitely my daughter.
1 comment:
oh, the pain of a mother... watching your children make mistakes and know they are ones you have made yourself. As they get older the pain gets even harder, as the circumstances get harder. It is our motherly instinct to wish we could feel that pain for them. It is so hard to watch a child grow through teenage years on their way to adulthood with all the heartbreak that goes along with it! This is my life right now and I am just winging it and hope I get it right!
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