stories

Tonight after I did some nighttime reading with Savannah she asked me to lay with her for awhile. Now, I have to admit that lately when the night falls I am ready to be done with all mothering duties. Most of the time I will tell her that her dad will come in and snuggle with her for a bit. But tonight I felt like staying and so I did.

One of Savannah's favorite things to do is to tell stories. She likes the made up kind of stories but she's especially intrigued with hearing stories that have actually happened. She also likes to share stories of memories that she has. After we exchanged a couple of stories I told her how much I loved her and how grateful I was that Heavenly Father sent her to me. This is where our conversation got interesting. Savannah asked me in so many words, who was here before we all came to earth. I knew exactly what she was getting at because that's how I thought as a little girl. So I told her about Adam and Eve and fast forwarded to how our family came to be. Then she said,

"So, I came first, then Benjamin, then Jacob."
"Yes," I replied.
"So we have three." (Family size is something that she has taken a particular interest in).
"Yes," I said again.
"Well, how come the Inkleys have five?" She has asked this question before and in the past I have told her that it's because Heavenly Father just blessed us with three kids. Tonight, something else came into my mind.
"Well Savannah, your daddy and I tried for many years to get pregnant with you."
"You did?" she asked.
"Yep, we tried for six whole years." She gasped a little and then said,
"Wow. Were you sad all those years that you didn't have a baby?" I paused a second to compose myself.
"Yes, I was. And we were so happy when we found out that I was going to have you."
"Did you cry?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Are you crying now?"
"Yes, but they are happy tears." And then she said,
"I love you, Mom and I can never stop loving you and hugging you."

I was amazed. To be honest, I didn't think that a five year old was capable of understanding that someone would be sad if they didn't have a baby. And to have the very person who we prayed so long to have ask me if I was sad while we waited for her felt like everything came full circle. To tell you the truth, it felt like she was much older than five. I'm sure she didn't know what she was doing, but she filled my cup tonight. And I needed it.