progress

Things between me and Benj are getting better. I think. Since he is not a natural giver of affection I have decided I have to be the one to initiate. In the past he would usually try to squirm away when I hugged or kissed him but last week he swatted at me. I countered with a sad, sad, face complete with a pouty mouth and puppy dog eyes. He laughed and jumped in for a hug. Then it became a game. The swat, the sad face, then the hug. Over and over.

Well yesterday while Savannah was at school, I picked Benjamin up and began to love on him. To my surprise, he didn't resist my loving. In fact, he let me hold on for quite awhile. Then, he brought his hand back to swat at me. And again, to my surprise I was met with a gentle pat instead of being hit. Of course I knew that this was his way of starting our little game but with a little more softness. Then, last night came the real shock. Benjamin actually initiated a hug. I could not believe it. I was so surprised and I realized that it had been a really long time since that had happened. See, as a mother, your payback for all of the hard work you do doesn't come in the form of money. It comes in sweet love notes and drawings, offers to help out with dinner, happy laughter when your kids are getting along, a "please" without having to be reminded, and hugs and kisses. That's probably the most gratifying. The one that warms your heart and soul the most. Those hugs and kisses. I didn't realize how much I was missing those hugs from Benj until he gave me one all on his own. And it was heavenly. Thank you, Benj.