Jacob Scott

So I have been trying (unsuccessfully) the past few days to upload picture of our new little man. I hope that I will be able to add pictures soon because let's face it, a blog entry is no good without pictures.

Let me first start by saying that we have been blessed in so many ways in the weeks leading up to Jacob's birth and the weeks that have followed. So many small miracles and tender mercies were witnessed as we struggled to make the decision that would ultimately lead to delivering our sweet boy at 34 weeks gestation.

I was admitted to Labor and Delivery at IMC on the evening of March 20th after experiencing some new pains in my uterus where the origination of the rupture was. Over the next two weeks I would change hospital rooms three times, have multiple non-stress tests, meet the woman who intubated Benjamin and saved his life, be hooked and unhooked and re-hooked to an i.v., be administered to by over 59 nurses and several Dr.s and specialists, be given steroid shots to help develop Jacob's lungs, be told countless times in so many words that, "we are playing a guessing game with your situation," and finally in a quiet and sacred moment shared by Tom and me have the Spirit whisper to us very clearly that it was time to deliver this child.

On April 3, at 9:53 AM and two spinal blocks later, Jacob Scott Thackeray made his first brief appearance before being passed to the staff of the NICU. Because I never got to experience seeing Benjamin born, I felt like that first second of seeing tiny Jacob's face was a piece of heaven. I honestly fell in love with him the moment I saw him. He was beautiful. He weighed 4 pounds 11 ounces and measured 18 inches long, but somehow he managed to have round cheeks!! That's what he gets for having Tom and me as parents. Because there had been so much anxiety preceding his birth, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off of the shoulders of me, Tom, and our family. I felt light, almost euphoric, and I was so grateful that both of us were okay.

Over the next week, Jacob would learn to nurse (not an easy feat for someone so young), lose and gain weight, have his i.v. changed to three different locations on his body, have a feeding tube inserted and removed, be on lights for increasing bilirubin levels, and be discharged from the NICU one week after being admitted. I remember when we first attempted to feed him how every suck and swallow was celebrated. We cheered him on every step of the way. I chose to stay in the hospital after I was discharged so I could be close to Jacob. And after we were given the news that he would be there a few days instead of a few weeks I knew that it would be a small sacrifice to stay in the hospital a little while longer. Tom, my mom, and sister-in-law April, took turns staying with me so I would have a familiar face to wheel me to the NICU for his feedings in the middle of the night and I was so grateful for that. I know that we were blessed to have Jacob stay in the NICU for such a short period of time and in some odd way I was grateful for that time. There was such a peaceful feeling there in the NICU. It was calm and quiet and filled with tiny miracles. I shed many tears during that week. Some of gratitude, some of sorrow for other babies who weren't as lucky as Jacob, and some of being overwhelmed at this tiny life that Tom and I were given to care for. When we were approaching Jacob's last night in NICU and I met his nurse, I realized it was the same nurse who took care of Benjamin his last night in the NICU at LDS hospital three years earlier. It was just like when I found out that the man who administered Jacob's hearing test shared Jacob's birthday and his name was Scott and learning that the nurse who drew blood for Jacob's follow up biliruben also had a son named Jacob Scott. Some may call these coincidences but to me, they were just signs that Heavenly Father was aware of us and closely watching over us.

Now that Jacob is almost three weeks old, he has learned to cry, gained 10 ounces, and still sleeps most of the time. He thinks that the best time to be awake is at night between the hours of 1 and 4 AM, and even though lack of sleep is a serious challenge for me, I enjoy the time I have to hold him. And I hold him most of the time.

It's interesting how Tom and I struggled for six years to conceive and here we are just five short years after having our first child and our family is complete. Those six years of struggling with infertility seem to have never existed and these past five years of child bearing have gone by literally like the blink of an eye. The lesson I'm trying to learn in all of this is to live in the present. Be grateful for what you have now... and cherish it. And I really do have so much to be grateful for.